Week 52: A Year in Review

Another year is ending.  It's been a good year - full of laughs, tears, hard work, overall craziness, and fun.

I fulfilled some of my resolutions/goals for the year - start and maintain a blog, complete my photography class, try my hand at tutoring, start an etsy business.  Some goals I did ok on - eat at least 3 fruits/veggies per day (pathetic I can't hardly meet that one, I know. . .), 100% visiting teaching, exercise at least 3 times a week, find new activities to do with our son.  Others I failed miserably at - take a picture every day, try at least 2 new recipes a month.  But hey, there's always next year, right? 

 

We still didn't finish the countless little things left to do in the kitchen,

but we did gut the basement and build it up again into a comfortable living space.

Alex went from a crawling, babbling baby boy with only two front teeth,

to a handsome boy who runs around tearing apart the house, demanding juice in fractured sentences. . .and yes, we do believe in good oral hygiene at our house. . . 

We had our struggles with infertility, ventured into the world of adoption, only to be completely surprised to find out that we were expecting.  Being pregnant while taking care of a very active toddler has been. . .challenging to say the least.  I honestly have no idea how women with multiple kids handle being pregnant.  Thank goodness my wonderful husband has been amazing as always and patiently stood by my side, even during those bad hormonal moments when I get mad at him for no particular reason, or when I turn into the Hulk because I haven't eaten anything in the past four hours and I NEED FOOD RIGHT THIS SECOND OR I WILL DIE!! . . .yeah, I'm not the best pregnant woman. . . 

Matt also gave me the best Christmas present ever this year!  He had a scrap piece of granite left over from our kitchen squared up so it will fit in our freezer and bought me some ice cream paddles.  Yeah that's right, I now have the tools to make ColdStone style ice cream at home.  It's pretty awesome!  I have the best husband ever!

Anyway, here's to the New Year!  A clean slate.  A chance to recommit to do a little more and work a little harder.  Here's to being better husbands and wives, parents, sons and daughters, neighbors, and friends.  Here's to strengthening old relationships and hopefully forging new ones.  Here's to creating lasting memories with those that we love most in the coming year.  Here's to finding the courage to take the road less traveled, to do those things that are hard, to stepping outside our comfort zone and maybe not always finding success, but hopefully self esteem, fulfillment, and happiness.  Here's to expanding our minds and improving our bodies.  Here's to becoming a little better physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  Here's to a good 2014!!

Happy New Year and happy photographing!    

Week 51: Christmas

Tomorrow is Christmas.

What?!  How did that happen already?

It seemed to come abnormally fast this year.  And since I still have a few neighbor gifts to deliver, I better hurry up before it's too late!  But I will leave you with this:

http://www.mormonchannel.org/video/mormon-messages?v=911161814001&cid=HPWE121813271

 I hope that everyone has a very Merry Christmas tomorrow!!

Happy Photographing!

Week 50: Curtains!

Check it out, my latest project.  I finished them today!

Now to finish Christmas presents, make neighbor gifts, tutor, post more items on Etsy, clean the house, finish laundry, keep Alex and baby girl happy, and then maybe one day I can make some throw pillows for the couch.

Happy Photographing!!
    

Week 49: Etsy Store

Hey guess what?  I finally set up my etsy shop!!  There is one whole item up for sale!  Go me!!  Hopefully I'll have more items posted by the end of the week.  Feel free to check it out. . .not that there is much there yet, but there will be soon :) : http://www.etsy.com/shop/ZestyOrangePeel?ref=shop_sugg

I also opened a facebook page.  It doesn't really have anything on it yet either, but hey, we are slowly making progress!

Other than that, I'm not sure I have much else to post.  I didn't even take any pictures this week because I'm a slacker like that.  I finally feel mostly human again - no longer nauseous or completely exhausted - and I've been trying to catch up on all of the house projects and Christmas projects that have been on my list for the last several weeks.  My latest project - more curtains for the downstairs.  Perhaps next week I'll post pictures. . .they will be awesome!

Oh, one other thing!  Matt and I watched a documentary on Nova the other night called "A Walk to Beautiful".  For anyone who is into documentaries - women especially, check it out!  I loved it! The lives of some of the women featured in the show are unbelievable.  It makes all of my problems seem. . .very manageable in comparison. . .and rather pathetic.  I am so incredibly grateful for everything I've been blessed with in my life - a loving husband, supportive family, access to good doctors, a nice house, plenty of food, etc!  http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/body/a-walk-to-beautiful.html

Ok, this post kind of stinks, but Alex is destroying the house and the little girl I tend is getting hungry.  I will try to come up with something more interesting next week!

Happy photographing!

Week 48: Recent Developments

Thanks again for all of the thoughtful comments and well-wishing from last weeks post.  Matt and I are super excited that we are going to have another baby!!  I also apologize if it was a little TMI. . .I debated about how much detail to reveal, but in the end I decided that #1 - in order to truly understand how miraculous it really is, you have to have the background info, and #2 - I know there are at least a couple of you out there struggling with infertility issues and somehow once you're in that boat nothing is too personal, it's always interesting to hear other people's stories.  We really appreciate everything everyone has done for us though - all of the texts, comments, visits, thoughts, and prayers over the past couple months.  We feel truly blessed to have so many wonderful people in our lives!  

Anyway. . .Thanksgiving came and went far too quickly; far too many calories were consumed (although I still REALLY REALLY want some more turkey), far too much time was spent pouring over Black Friday ads, far too many people were out shopping Friday and for whatever reason I felt the need to join them, but thankfully not too much money was actually spent over the weekend.  (I resisted buying boots and Matt resisted buying that 50" TV he was drooling over. . .)

And Monday it was back to normal life. . .although there were a couple interesting developments:

• I bought a new Christmas tree!  A big fat one!  And the best part?  I found it on KSL for $25.  Oh how I love a good deal!!!
  
  (Ok, it will look a lot better after I decorate it, but still. . .not bad for $25 :) )

• My pants are already getting tight.  This is truly depressing since I didn't have to make any maternity modifications until I was about 6 months along with Alex.  I'm only 14 weeks along and already starting to get a slight baby bump.  Rats.  Oh well, I'm just grateful I am pregnant!

• My baby boy is suddenly all grown up.  We converted his crib into a toddler bed this weekend and surprisingly have had tremendous success.  He has also started doing things for himself - usually they are things that are rather dangerous when I'm not looking, but still.  Yesterday he pushed the stool over to the counter, got out the bread, and made himself two pieces of toast while I was picking up the house.  He also got the gummy vitamin bottle open and helped himself to 10 gummies (thankfully I caught him on that one before he swallowed. . .).  Later that afternoon Alex and his friend managed to climb up on the counter and broke into my chocolate chip stash in the cupboard in the 2 minutes it took his mom and I to follow them upstairs.  Oh that child!  

• Also, I have made it a goal to have my Etsy store up and running by the end of the week.  I've been so tired and nauseous the last month I've had absolutely no motivation to anything.  Now that I'm finally feeling better, I have so many projects I want to catch up on.  If I declare it publicly, I am more likely to follow through. :)  

Happy photographing!

Week 47: Roller Coaster (Part 2)

For anyone who missed Roller Coaster Part 1, you can find it here: http://alaurendeau.blogspot.com/2013/09/week-37-rollercoaster.html

As Thanksgiving approaches, we have so much to be grateful for as our story continues.

Is this really happening?  May 31, 2014.  Needless to say, we aren't looking to adopt at this point in time.  This can't possibly be happening!  Is this really my life now?  Miraculously enough, yes, yes it is!   

For those of you who want the details, continue reading.  For those of you who don't care, feel free to stop here. :) 

I got a cold the last week in September.  I also missed my period but figured it was due to the emotional stress of the past month and thought nothing more of it.  The next week my pants started to feel a bit snug, so I resolved to exercise a little more and eat a little less junk; I tried to complete a P90X workout and almost passed out.  I began to feel more and more tired; I figured maybe it was the lingering symptoms of the cold. . . .then I started to feel nauseous.  "Dang, if I didn't know any better, I'd almost think I was pregnant."  But this was impossible.  So we met with our case worker and started trying to make sense of the long adoption process ahead of us.

Things did not improve over the following week.  I felt completely exhausted and sick to my stomach.  I finally concluded there must be something seriously wrong with me, and resolved to take a pregnancy test - just to make sure - and then go see a dr.  I bought a cheap $1 test.  Positive.

POSITIVE?!!??????
POSITIVE??!!!??????????? 
POSITIVE???!!!??!?!????!?!????!?!???!??!

Let me pause here just for a moment and emphasize how truly miraculous those two little lines on that test were.  Fertility depends a lot on your age, weight, health, genetics, etc., but average sperm count ranges from 20-40 million; and with those 20-40 million swimmers, a couple only has about 15-25% chance of conceiving each month.  Of course there are things you can do to improve the odds, but looking at the whole picture, it's fairly surprising when anyone gets pregnant.  So taking this into mind, consider now where Matt and I were.  We had two semen tests done that both showed a sperm count FAR below 20-40 million. . . they were ZERO.  Matt was diagnosed with Primary Testicular Failure - which basically means the boys shut down, no one knows why, and there's nothing they can do to treat it.  It is a permanent condition, irreversible, unchanging.

It had seemed pretty clear that the chance of us getting pregnant was non-existent. . .so you can imagine our surprise!  When I told Matt, he asked, "Whom, may I ask, is the father?!"  When I assured him that there was no possible way it could be anyone else, he asked, "How did that happen?"  "I don't know. . ."  (In his defense I don't think he ever actually thought I cheated on him, he was just a little shocked, as you can imagine.)  I think both of us couldn't quite believe the positive test until a couple weeks later when we were sitting in the doctor's office.  "The fetus is in the right spot, it has a good strong heartbeat, everything looks good!"  Holy crap, this is actually happening!   

When we initially found out the news of our infertility, there was a lot of talk of miracles.  "So and so got pregnant after the doctors said it was impossible!"  "My best friend's neighbor's sister in-law got pregnant after chemo!"  That's great for your best friend's neighbor's sister in-law, and believe me, I would congratulate her if I ever had the chance.  It's always good to hear those types of stories.  I'm a big believer in miracles, but let's be honest: for every one of those stories, there are plenty more where a couple was hoping for a miracle that never came.  At least not in the way they wanted it to.  There are at least three families right here in our neighborhood who's dreams of having their own biological children never happened.  All three families are absolutely incredible - good, honest people who work hard to do what's right and help those around them.  In my mind all three of these families "deserved" a miracle.  But guess what?  It never happened.  And guess what else?  Their lives didn't end.  They all went on to adopt and became fantastic parents who loved and accepted the children as their own.  I'm sure all three of those women would admit that there is still some pain at never being able to get pregnant and carry a baby to full term - even though it's been many years for some of them - but I'm also fairly sure that they would admit that they found just as much joy and fulfillment in becoming parents as anyone else.   

As I listened to people's adoptive stories, it was pretty incredible.  All of them experienced times of hurt, loss, and frustration.  But each story had some element where it's as if the planets aligned, and for one random reason or another, the birth parent and adoptive parents would both know without a doubt that that child was meant to be theirs.  And to see the joy in these people's faces as they talked about how they felt when they were first able to hold that little baby, when the adoption papers were signed and that baby was officially theirs, when they were able to take their other children and be sealed together as a family across the sacred alters of the temple, their stories are truly a miracle. 

So I spent a month building myself up.  Yes, I was sad that I probably wouldn't get pregnant again.  I recognized that there was a chance - anything is possible, but really, what's the point of holding out for a miracle?  Yes, adoption would undoubtedly have it's hard times, both in getting a baby and raising him or her.  But I came to see it in a whole new light - adoption is a miracle, it can be incredibly beautiful, and I was excited to experience it.  And it was at this point that I found out I was pregnant.

Talk about a 180. . .

We are so so excited though!  We are incredibly grateful for this tremendous miracle that has happened in our lives.  I have no idea why we had to go through this, or what might lay ahead.  Perhaps we will have another miracle in a couple years or perhaps we will go on to adopt.  Perhaps a few years down the road we will become foster parents.  Who knows?!  I'm done trying to plan my life.  I can only imagine God sitting up there saying, "Oh Amanda, you just think you know what's going to happen, just you wait!"  And so I will wait and be grateful for the things that have happened thus far. We have so much to be grateful for!

I hope everyone has a fantastic Thanksgiving this week!

Happy photographing! 

Week 46: TWO!!!

I feel the need to apologize once again; Alex has dominated many posts lately and for everyone other than grandparents, it's probably not all that interesting to read.  I intended this blog to be more about photography, but Alex definitely takes the spotlight on most posts.  But then again we don't get out much and he is the most exciting thing to photograph around here. . .either way, sorry, this post is no different.

Alex is officially TWO!  I'm not really sure how that happened; I feel like he was just recently that tiny baby in the NICU, but now he is an extremely energetic inquisitive toddler running around creating confusion and chaos wherever he goes.  It's a bit of an understatement to say that he can be a lot of work, but holy cow he is so much fun these days!  The workings of a toddler mind are often hilarious - "hmmm, how does this saltine cracker that I found under the table taste dipped in my yogurt?  YUM!", "this empty can would make an awesome drum, and after I'm done banging, it would make a nice hat!", "I can't possibly leave the house without all 10 of my trucks!", "it's naked time RIGHT NOW and NO I will not wear pants!", etc.  His logic is awesome!

His birthday was so fun this year!  We decided to have the tradition of decorating his room, so Matt blew up 34 balloons and we scattered them around his room the night before.  The next morning we woke up at 5:50 am with Alex squealing in delight.  He had a grand time playing with balloons!

I made Alex scrambled eggs and truck toast for breakfast - he refused to eat the toast and just drove it around his plate instead.  He helped me make his birthday cake by licking the beaters for me.  He got to go hang out with grandma and grandpa after his nap so that I could get everything ready, and all of the family came over later that night for Alex's birthday party.

He actually opened his presents almost without help this year.

He was pretty excited by most things, but he gave me a seriously dirty look when he opened the monkey backpack/leash that I bought for him.

Alex got very excited by his birthday cake.

He was so excited that he didn't even want his own piece of cake, but preferred to sit and use the excavator to dig more into the cake. . .although that didn't stop him completely from tasting some cake every now and then.

Who needs a fork when you have a bulldozer?

Happy birthday to my sweet sweet little boy!!

Happy photographing!