Week 17: Self Portrait

Alex has developed some awesome facial expressions these days and I thought this week I would try to capture them, however I have discovered that this is much easier said than done; that kid is always on the move and it's extremely difficult to get a good picture.  So stay tuned for the many expressions of Alex in next week's post.  Hopefully by then I will be able to get some better pictures.   

Instead, this week I've decided to blog about myself.  Typically I much prefer being behind the camera

(Sorry, the mirror I was shooting into was a little dirty. . .just ignore the smudges)

but tomorrow is my birthday, and I haven't really taken any self portraits, so somehow it seems fitting for this week.   

Tomorrow I will be 26.

Scary, I know.  I'm not sure how this has happened.  26 is only 4 years away from 30; I remember when my mother turned 30, and in my 6-year-old mind she seemed so old!  30 is no longer old.  Heck, 40 doesn't even seem that old anymore.  But in my mind I am early 20's, and after tomorrow I definitely don't fit in that category anymore.  I remember my grandma telling me that the older you get the faster time flies.  I'm starting to believe her.

Birthday time is always a bit like the new year for me; it is a time of reflection.  There were definitely bad times and regrets, but overall I am pleased with where I am at.  I married the best man in the world, graduated college, traveled quite a bit, own a home, have a darling little boy . . .what more could I possibly want?  I am very grateful for the many blessings and opportunities I have enjoyed thus far.  

The last couple years have not been easy as I have struggled to redefine who I am, from "College Student", to "Engineer", to "Mother".  At times it has been hard to find balance in my life, but through the help of my wonderful husband, a couple very good friends, and my Heavenly Father I feel a bit like Alma when he said, "I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things" (Alma 26:12). 

Over this last year I have started to believe that.  Sometimes my confidence is stretched a little too far and I fail miserably (*cough* cupcakes from scratch *cough*).  But I have accomplished several things I was very unsure of over this last year.  I have learned to push myself physically; I am in the best shape I have ever been in, completed the P90X program, and even ran two 5Ks over this last year - which doesn't really sound like much, but trust me, that is HUGE.  Thanks to Matt and Google I feel confident to take on new projects around the house - need to make curtains?  No problem.  Need to tear down a wall?  Awesome!  Need to tile a floor?  That one sucks, but I can do it.  Where rollers and paint where once intimidating, they are my new best friends.  Through the help of my awesome friends and family, I found the confidence to try working as a math tutor, and while I wouldn't say I'm awesome at it yet, I really like it.  Finally, I am much more confident as a mother.  I remember when we first brought Alex home from the hospital and while I was really excited, I was also scared out of my mind; I had no idea what I was doing.  I will openly admit I still don't really have a clue how to raise a child, but I now know that Matt and I can figure it out as we go along.

 

In short, I guess my main message for today is to say thank you.  Thank you to all of you who have been in my life and helped me become a little more like the person I want to be.  There have been countless people who have impacted my life in so many ways for the better, and I'm grateful for all of you.  Thank you!!   

Happy photographing!